Shop Talk

Bill asked if he could help with dinner last night. While he often offers, it's really the only time of the day that I don't want him right next to me.

The kitchen is my domain. I enjoy working alone, rather than having to explain what I need. I like seeing him on the other side of the counter after his long day at the office. I unwind vicariously if he is relaxing while I'm cooking. It doesn't feel like work.

Yesterday, though, I was tired and hungry for some down time so I actually said yes. Watching him cut cherry tomatoes in half and asparagus into bite-size pieces with a paring knife was interesting. I noticed how tentative his hand motions were. In other areas (...using power tools, playing hockey, painting, etc...) he can be so confident and strong with his hands. When I mentioned this at lunch, his answer was that the paring knife I gave him was too small to swiftly do the job. I was impressed that he knew that. It really shouldn't have suprised me since if there is one thing guys know about, it's tools.

Speaking of tools, when I watch people use knives that are too small and too dull, it makes me crazy. Don't make a job harder than it has to be. I have a small knife sharpener that I use often. It's the size of a laser level. It gives me a great cutting edge, and makes easy work of prepping food.

A properly sized cutting board is critical. (Why they even SELL glass cutting boards that are the size of a cocktail coaster is beyond me.) No wonder people hate cooking with those things. Everyone needs a proper work surface. It's like a good workbench.

Maybe men would adventure into culinary more if we moved a kitchen to their garage? We could give the knives names and extension cords? Maybe they'd call out to their buddies, "hand me the Global" and some guy would automatically know to grab the thing with a specific handle? They'd all stand over a roast and stare at it, with each of them making suggestions on how to fix it. Someone would bring over the new tool he just bought, nowithstanding the fact that he already had three. Everything would be in place, incredibly functional, have cool names, and be discussed over a beer. We wouldn't see them for hours, because it wouldn't seem like work!

I bet if I asked Bill to customize the pasta, he'd do it! Next time I ask for help, I'm going to use man language. I'll tell him that I need him to powerwash and disassemble the asparagus, carve the tomatoes into two parts, and then combine one part pesto with two parts pasta. He can even save the leftover bits in an old jar.


Yes, I think I'm on to something... as long as I don't make him read the instructions;)