Desperation, Detox and Beets

Today I mapped out the current chaos of my life LITERALLY in half hour segments. I won't list any boring reasons, but I will say that life hasn't been more chaotic since spring 2003.

I have lost muscle by skipping my workouts, gained belly fat because I'm eating too much restaurant food, not cooking in my own kitchen, and reaching for crappy snacks when faced with stress overload satisfiable only with a sugar or fat rush.

I know why this is - and I know why it happens.

1. I've been skipping breakfast and living on coffee.
2. I have been too busy to pack a healthy snack for the office.
3. I've been persuaded that a restaurant meal is faster than cooking at home.
4. I've been more stressed than usual, and chocolate or salty chips look better than they usually do.
5. I've stopped the consistent exercise routine that produced a good buzz.
6. My clothes feel tight, so I've been choosing roomier options.
7. I've been eating late, and sleeping terribly.
8. I have not had time for any Food TV, so often I'm out of ideas when I get home after work, and there is nothing in the fridge, AND I'm exhausted.
9. I'm travelling and in the car a lot, sitting, and drinking coffee. Since I refuse to eat any fast food, I'm usually ravenous when I get home.
10. I have stopped prioritizing myself.

Yuck. There it is in black and white. And it's probably similar to lots of folks who eat badly. It feels like me, years and years ago.

So this morning, I had enough. I have turned off every phone in the house, including my cell phone, and treated myself to a day of errands, cooking, manicures, pedicures, facials and delicious eating.

Tonight, as I await the food network Thanksgiving Special, the lingering taste of a beet and goat cheese salad with mandarin slices is still present on my taste buds. Is there anything more beautiful than the colour of roasted beets? Packed with anti-oxidants, it is a perfect match with the earthy grounding flavour spike of a tangy, creamy goat cheese. Mandarin citrus high notes just round out everything.

The thing I found so uncomfortable about this month wasn't the chaos, or the driving, or the multiple projects, objectives, deadlines, pressure, performance anxiety, or the loss of personal or family time. I hated the disorganization.

My weekly schedule is now on paper, highlighting the windows of time that I actually have available in any given week. And it is much smaller than I thought. So I have to be organized if I'm going to make it until Christmas.

I'm going to print my list from the post to Sarah, and make that my menu plan for the week. I hope it helps get my groove back.