Even though my blog is aimed mainly at women, I am excited to learn that quite a few of my readers are guys. And that is an extra challenge since some men have still been programmed with the "I can't really cook" messaging.
When I was a kid, I always told myself "I'm not good at math". I was also told this by one of the nuns who taught Math in grade school, as well as Mr. DiMaio who had to suffer through my attempts in high school. But even he used to say that I had it in me to be good at math, but I was just sabotaging myself by saying that I couldn't.
Fast forward to University where I just got sick of telling myself I was bad at math. So I took a stats course. I do believe in facing your fears... and I figured that I would take down the "FEAR OF MATH"...
I tried.
I practiced.
Eventually I relaxed and saw the patterns, the rythms, and the repetition.
My final grade was my only A+ in University.
One of my friends is newly single. So much of adjusting to a new lifestyle has to do with the LITTLE stuff, not the big issues. Of course this is made impossibly challenging because his female counterpart was responsible for daily dinners.
My response to this is SO WHAT?!?!
If you both are miserable, a daily salad and bad casserole is no reason to stay!
(Plus it probably came with dish duty and was capped off with some form of nagging about not loading the diswasher properly - so were you really farther ahead? My vote is NO.)
But what's a single guy to do when he finds himself on his own, and finally gets sick of the prepared roasted chickens at Zehrs?
Let's complicate the mix even more... Add in the fact that you're carrying around a lot of extra weight that is slowing you down, perhaps creating a health problem or two.
Add in the fact that you are probably eating a LOT more "convenience" food - which will never ever provide the smooth fuel your body craves to handle stress.
And finally, add in the extra financial pressure of the uncertainties of separating.
Hate to say it, because it just reveals my vegangelical self again, but there are some great options here for all of the above.
So, buddy, this is for you:
You NEED proper tools. Think of your motorcycle guys and your car-obsessed friends. Would you EVER go into a garage with one or two tools? NO! You need em' all!! (check out my older post Shop Talk, July 2009)
1. Get a slow cooker.
2. Get a rice cooker.
3. Get a good deep non-stick pan.
4. Have a "Date Night" - with yourself.
Even though you have to be repulsed by the idea of dating, you should make a date with yourself that is regular to grocery shop. One particularly lonely single man told me once that routine is comforting, and he was probably right.
5. Lose the inner dialogue that you can't do this. You can. Suck it up.
You may find yourself with some quiet nights that you either fill with TV or a book. One of those nights, think about your weekly "routine" from a food perspective.
Do you have breakfast with the guys after hockey? Do you grab something fast on Tuesdays? Where do you go? What do you order? And most of all... WHAT DO YOU SPEND? (eg: Ours used to be quarter chicken dinners at Swiss Chalet on Sundays.)
On one of these quiet nights, figure out what your REGULAR weekly routine costs. Also try to hone in on where some of your worst food choices happen. I'm willing to bet you a can of beans that it is also an expensive food choice for relatively little nutrition.
so 6. is Figure out what your weekly food budget has been.
Finally, 7. is to trust me. First, I can tell you I've been there. As a busy lawyer, who was single most of the time I was married anyway, I know what it's like to feel the quiet. To stare into a fridge thinking "what the heck am I supposed to eat tonight?" and decide it was easier just to make popcorn.
Cooking dinner for yourself is EXACTLY what you need right now.
You will be spending time with your own thoughts, but not the over complicated ones. The good ones. Like asking yourself "WHAT DO I LIKE?" What do I want to eat tonight? Maybe you were with someone who didn't like olives, or nuts or cinnamon. You are free from all of that stuff now - just eat what you love.
You will also be putting some good healthy fuel into your body, and in times of stress, you need it.
I promise you, you will be saving money too - and that is always a good thing.
You will also be saving truckloads of junky, weighty calories which will result in a sleeker, healthier boday and outlook. You can finally ditch that hideous XL sweater she made you buy (which you hated, even on the day YOU bought it) because it won't fit you in two months.
I'll tell you, there is nothing more satisfying like shedding your wardrobe, either. In 6 months, you will have a stronger, healthier happier body, maybe even a few new clothes that you look good in, and the old unhappy wardrobe will be lined up in garbage bags for St. Vincent de Paul. See? Even charities are going to benefit from this change!!!
If you've been through the dreaded separation, you've probably already been called a snake. But this isn't a bad thing. Think of snakes. They do what they do for a while, and then they move on.
They literally SHED their skin, and get back to their routine with a new skin.
So grab your slow cooker, your olives, that hideous sweater and a few garbage bags - because you have some cooking to get to...
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